sometimes you don't fit into the fairy tale

Looking For A Looking Glass?

sometimes you don't fit into the fairy tale

sometimes you don't fit into the fairy tale
you step through a defective looking glass
or fall down the wrong rabbit hole
and presto!
the land of magic and mystery
is not quite what you hoped for

oh sure, there's a frog waiting for your kiss
but kiss as you may
no prince pops out from beneath the warts and the slimy green skin
and the next morning you are sporting
a cold sore the size of Portobello mushroom

undeterred you march through forest and glen
shack up with seven dwarfs in a tiny cottage
that you're expected to keep clean when the little guys
go whistling off to work
while you wait patiently for some crone
or at the very least your older sister to show up
with a poison apple to eat so that you can fall asleep
then suddenly wake to a prince's kiss and
a lifetime of ease watching the afternoon soaps
but the apple never arrives
and you spend sleepless nights in anticipation
until one of the seven little people
slips a pea under your mattress
and you sleep for three days straight
only to wake up and discover
that you've been left out on a marble slab in the bush
and that you're beginning to attract flies

you buy a crate of glass slippers
(one size fits all)
from the shopping network website
and you drive through the richest part of town
leaving one at the gates
of every castle you can find
and you even tie one to a telephone wire
high above the entrance to the legion hall
but no Prince Charming comes 'round
looking for the happy-ever-after
with a slipper in his hand

no, the best you get is the pizza delivery boy
with a double cheese and anchovies x-large pie
misaddressed to your front door
which you pay for
despite the obvious mistake
because the interchange is at least
a minute or two of human contact
and that pizza is something you can munch on
in bed before you fall asleep
all the while hoping the anchovies kick in at some point
and flush all this fantasy shit
out the rabbit hole
and down your porcelain throne
because quite seriously
the worst nightmare of reality isn't half as bad
as wasting a lifetime in a dreamy fog
and wishing you were
someone you're not