Digging In The Dirt
Yesterday, I was listening to a radio program as I drove around town doing those tedious little tasks that we all must do from time to time. On the program, Lori Lansens was discussing her book, The Wife's Tale, the story of an morbidly obese woman whose husband leaves her on the eve of their 25th wedding anniversary. This propels the woman into a journey of self-discovery, one which includes the loss of her weight.
The book sounds interesting, but what I found curious is how the husband just up and leaves on the eve of a 25th wedding anniversary. I can't imagine anything more callous and hurtful. Did he love her for those 24 years and 364 days, only to wake up that last morning and say "Time for a change," and decide to leave? Hardly.
Lansens suggests that her protagonist, Mary Gooch, is "content to be complacent, is comfortable in her stalled marriage with a silent, sensitive trucker, and is happy to trudge to and from her dull job in the local drugstore. Mary is also settled in her unconventional body — at 302 pounds, she's a woman whose size literally keeps her stuck in one place." And there's the problem.
I think complacency in any relationship is poison, but especially so in a love relationship. The moment one partner takes the other for granted, the relationship is headed for disaster.
I have often marvelled at how some people see love as a kind of preordained fact of life, as something with which everyone should be blessed. The truth is that some people are simply not able to be in a love relationship. Real love, not the purely romantic, pie-in-the-sky love, is not an easy gig, and you don't get it, or keep it, by just hanging around.
Love is like digging in the dirt of a garden. You never know what you're going to find once you put that spade into the soil — the perils are many — rocks, bugs, worms, snakes, dead bodies, who knows? It's no easy task slugging mud from mud, but you do it because you want your garden to flourish, not because you want your life to parallel some dying stretch of sod.
Love, like anything else worthwhile, is hard work and requires constant attention. You don't really get weekends off or vacation time during the warmer months. The pay is usually not so great, but the rewards are ....
... limitless.
Yesterday, I was listening to a radio program as I drove around town doing those tedious little tasks that we all must do from time to time. On the program, Lori Lansens was discussing her book, The Wife's Tale, the story of an morbidly obese woman whose husband leaves her on the eve of their 25th wedding anniversary. This propels the woman into a journey of self-discovery, one which includes the loss of her weight.
Lansens suggests that her protagonist, Mary Gooch, is "content to be complacent, is comfortable in her stalled marriage with a silent, sensitive trucker, and is happy to trudge to and from her dull job in the local drugstore. Mary is also settled in her unconventional body — at 302 pounds, she's a woman whose size literally keeps her stuck in one place." And there's the problem.
I think complacency in any relationship is poison, but especially so in a love relationship. The moment one partner takes the other for granted, the relationship is headed for disaster.
I have often marvelled at how some people see love as a kind of preordained fact of life, as something with which everyone should be blessed. The truth is that some people are simply not able to be in a love relationship. Real love, not the purely romantic, pie-in-the-sky love, is not an easy gig, and you don't get it, or keep it, by just hanging around.
Love is like digging in the dirt of a garden. You never know what you're going to find once you put that spade into the soil — the perils are many — rocks, bugs, worms, snakes, dead bodies, who knows? It's no easy task slugging mud from mud, but you do it because you want your garden to flourish, not because you want your life to parallel some dying stretch of sod.
Love, like anything else worthwhile, is hard work and requires constant attention. You don't really get weekends off or vacation time during the warmer months. The pay is usually not so great, but the rewards are ....
... limitless.
