drowning ...
i'm drowning
in the late night rain
here under nothing
but an umbrella of cold light
beneath a lamppost down a block or maybe two
from Yonge Street
just outside your dark window
where i wait
armed with fury or forgiveness
i'm so confused
i no longer know the difference
my last breath
slips from my body
with a silent shudder
and bubbles out into the wet world
with barely a sound
just a whisper
or a crumbling cry
to you
a final appeal for love
but you're nowhere near
to hear
in time
i'll float to the surface
of your memory
a blue corpse evangelist
rising from beneath your troubled thoughts
when love has abandoned you
as you have abandoned me
and you'll remember how
we walked these streets together
hand in hand
when life was warm with promise
and maybe then you'll pause and regret
what you lost
when you gave me up
i wish i could have been
someone who knew the rules of walking on water
and the ritual of breaking my body
into a thousand parts
so i might have fed each your starry dreams
but the trick escaped me
and so i'm drowning
in an unsettled sea of sadness
looking up through wet eyes
at the dead glass window of your room
and with a last glance
i imagine your lips on mine
before i dissolve from your life
forever
in the late night rain
here under nothing
but an umbrella of cold light
beneath a lamppost down a block or maybe two
from Yonge Street
just outside your dark window
where i wait
armed with fury or forgiveness
i'm so confused
i no longer know the difference
my last breath
slips from my body
with a silent shudder
and bubbles out into the wet world
with barely a sound
just a whisper
or a crumbling cry
to you
a final appeal for love
but you're nowhere near
to hear
in time
i'll float to the surface
of your memory
a blue corpse evangelist
rising from beneath your troubled thoughts
when love has abandoned you
as you have abandoned me
and you'll remember how
we walked these streets together
hand in hand
when life was warm with promise
and maybe then you'll pause and regret
what you lost
when you gave me up
i wish i could have been
someone who knew the rules of walking on water
and the ritual of breaking my body
into a thousand parts
so i might have fed each your starry dreams
but the trick escaped me
and so i'm drowning
in an unsettled sea of sadness
looking up through wet eyes
at the dead glass window of your room
and with a last glance
i imagine your lips on mine
before i dissolve from your life
forever
