Some people make it a lifelong habit to be a jerk, a blockhead, an idiot, a nitwit, a dolt ... well, simply put, an all-round ass.
Oh sure, they'll say they are compassionate, understanding, attentive, a good listener, kind, honest ... blah, blah, blah. The bottom line is that some folks are none of these.
If you're self-absorbed, if you can only seem to think about, talk about, hear about yourself ... HELL YEAH!... you're an ass.
If you are obsessed with how you look and are constantly judging others simply on their physical appearance ... BINGO! ... you're an ass.
If you're so competitive that you have to be better than everyone around you ... SLAM! ... you're an ass.
If you talk about your friends behind their backs and slip the cold blade of some judgemental put-down between their shoulder blades ... YEP! ... you're an ass.
If you can't help but feel left out when your friends or family do something without you ... UH HUH! ... you're an ass.
If you always have to be the "boss" in everything you do with others ... OMG! ... you're an ass.
If you lie, cheat, or are in any way dishonest with others ... YOWSERS! ... you're an ass.
If you are rude, especially in public, if you treat people, such as servers in a restaurant, as beneath you ... YIKES! ... you're an ass.
If you always have a smart remark for just about anything other people do or say ... JUMPING JEHOSAPHAT! ... you're an ass.
If you are unreliable, if one of your friends calls for some form of help, such as a ride to the airport, and you do everything but become invisible to avoid helping ... CARAMBA! ... you're an ass.
If you're always negative, always putting things down, always finding fault, always seeing the bad in everything ... OH BABY! ... you're an ass.
Now, I can't say if any or all of these qualities apply to you. Maybe, you recognise yourself in one or two or maybe even more of these conditions. If so, I hate to be the bearer of bad news ... you probably are an ass.
Do you have to remain an ass? Well, no, but you will you know, you will continue because, for whatever reason, people rarely change.
Oh, wait a sec ... that's a bit negative, isn't it? Well, there you go ... it takes an ass to know one, I guess.
And the biggest ass of all is the person who claims never to be an ass.
