Sometimes, I think that we are like a pizza of different slices. One slice is an assortment of items that reflect how we are viewed by our family. Another slice is concocted oh how we are viewed by our friends. Yet another slice is a mix of ingredients that have been sprinkled on the pizza by our loved one. All the other slices are much the same. Portions of our self-identity are determined, not by us, but by the perceptions we gather from all those around us, at work or play.
It can be a pretty big pizza.
The problem is that, if we rely on others to make up all the delicious and gooey aspects of our character, we are doing ourselves a great disservice. If we allow others to define who we are, we will always be a slave to those perceptions. Should one of the slices change in nature, say we have a falling out with a family member, then that piece of the pizza no longer seems appetizing. In a worst case scenario, that slice disappears, and the whole pizza can fall apart. When something important goes missing in our lives, we feel the brunt of unworthiness.
It's always best to make your own pizza. Cover the dough with things you love, not with things that you think love you.
Sure, it's great to feel wanted and appreciated by others, but you always have to remember that others may not remain constant to you. People can be capricious, and when they change their minds about something, you don't want to end up feeling like there is a hole in your being, an empty space where just yesterday there was a meaningful slice of life.
