if i knew ...
if i knew
that inside your suitcase
you were carrying
a parcel of the past
so carefully wrapped
in golden tissue
then double wrapped
inside the folds
of your favourite sweatshirt
that you wore
to bed sometimes
wore and let slip
off your shoulders
when you pressed your body
close to him
and did the thing you did and did
and did
the thing you said was
not for me
if i knew
then i guess
i might have remained
in the bubble
of a life apart from you
but i couldn't
couldn't watch you
from away
couldn't watch you from the balcony
of love's theatre
watch you passively
moving across some crackling movie screen
as if you were a Hollywood starlet
out of the reach of hope
out of the reach of my arms
i couldn't
couldn't ignore
the irresistible hunger
couldn't stop
my failing legs
from stumbling
and sending me crashing
into the puzzled packings
of your life
the rooms we shared
are empty now
even though i waited
for a year or more
waited for your letters to arrive
waited for a tap on the door
waited and waited
until finally became final
and i hear you're
back in your life before me
i hear you're living
on the outskirts
of true love
happily settling for
what you called
the tangible reality
of Monday to Friday
that skips the madness
of our rampant weekend rapture
and though all is always
still i sometimes wonder
whether you have kept
my heart
perhaps wrapped in a stocking
or old sock
in that suitcase you carry
stuffed as it is
with a treasure
of broken dreams
that inside your suitcase
you were carrying
a parcel of the past
so carefully wrapped
in golden tissue
then double wrapped
inside the folds
of your favourite sweatshirt
that you wore
to bed sometimes
wore and let slip
off your shoulders
when you pressed your body
close to him
and did the thing you did and did
and did
the thing you said was
not for me
if i knew
then i guess
i might have remained
in the bubble
of a life apart from you
but i couldn't
couldn't watch you
from away
couldn't watch you from the balcony
of love's theatre
watch you passively
moving across some crackling movie screen
as if you were a Hollywood starlet
out of the reach of hope
out of the reach of my arms
i couldn't
couldn't ignore
the irresistible hunger
couldn't stop
my failing legs
from stumbling
and sending me crashing
into the puzzled packings
of your life
the rooms we shared
are empty now
even though i waited
for a year or more
waited for your letters to arrive
waited for a tap on the door
waited and waited
until finally became final
and i hear you're
back in your life before me
i hear you're living
on the outskirts
of true love
happily settling for
what you called
the tangible reality
of Monday to Friday
that skips the madness
of our rampant weekend rapture
and though all is always
still i sometimes wonder
whether you have kept
my heart
perhaps wrapped in a stocking
or old sock
in that suitcase you carry
stuffed as it is
with a treasure
of broken dreams
