I know you're frantic, baby,
I can tell by the look of your eyes,
You say I'm not romantic, baby,
I've no more alibis.
You say you want me, want me, want me, any time or anywhere,
Doesn't matter if it's here and doesn't matter if it's there,
But tell me, honey, tell me please,
Who the heck stole the cheese?
Yes, you're my sourdough bun, baby,
And I'm your bratwurst on the q,
Add some hot mustard just for fun, baby,
Or maybe you think just sweet relish will do.
You say you need me, need me, need me, any time or anywhere,
Doesn't matter if it's here and doesn't matter if it's there,
But, honey, when you went down on your knees,
I swear someone up and stole the cheese.
You know I hate to quibble, baby,
But some things in life do matter,
For a slice, a cube, or even a nibble, baby,
I'll step up to the plate and be your batter.
You say you'd woo me, do me, cuckoo me, any time or anywhere,
Doesn't matter if it's here and doesn't matter if it's there,
But, honey, your moans and groans I really can't appease,
Until, at last and once and for all, we finally find the cheese.