carnalval ...
by chance
or maybe by circumstance
i stood by the Sno-Cone trailer
across from the Carnival-King Waffle stand
and in the bright lights of the midway
i saw you on the Ferris Wheel
cuddled in the yellow gondola
with your new lover
his hands mapping
the hills and valleys and roadways
of your body
and i guess i felt some shame
at being a voyeur
peeking into the secret love
of your secret life
but i had forgotten
what was wrong
and what was right
so i could not step away
from the moment
and was transfixed by the blur of you
reeling through the night
finding such a great height
and then dropping earthward
only to make the turn to the heavens again
and at every turn of the wheel
i became the indiscreet witness
to a simple giddy ride through space
turning round and round
and round and round
until it all became a hypnotic blur
the wheel seeming to pick up speed
turning faster and faster
and opening my mind
to mad imaginings
of the carnal pleasures
you and he shared
the two of you sweating with desire
him whispering wanton instructions
and you coaxing his hard sex
into your anus
while you groaned with obscene pleasure
until at last your groans
became my groans
and my soul reached for you in the darkness
wanting you and wanting you still
but my heart bled blue bits of carrion
my every breath sucked and gasped gobs of
deathly disillusionment
until at last my legs buckled
my eyes rolled and closed
and i fell to the gravel
battered and broken by the realisation
that your life had spun
in circle after circle
across time and distance
so far away from mine
there was only an impossibly vast void
between us now
leaving me nothing but
a nightmare waltz
the impossible stumbling
of amputated feet
losing distance as you
soared into oblivion
and i remained hopelessly
spiraling downward
further and further
into irrelevance
or maybe by circumstance
i stood by the Sno-Cone trailer
across from the Carnival-King Waffle stand
and in the bright lights of the midway
i saw you on the Ferris Wheel
cuddled in the yellow gondola
with your new lover
his hands mapping
the hills and valleys and roadways
of your body
and i guess i felt some shame
at being a voyeur
peeking into the secret love
of your secret life
but i had forgotten
what was wrong
and what was right
so i could not step away
from the moment
and was transfixed by the blur of you
reeling through the night
finding such a great height
and then dropping earthward
only to make the turn to the heavens again
and at every turn of the wheel
i became the indiscreet witness
to a simple giddy ride through space
turning round and round
and round and round
until it all became a hypnotic blur
the wheel seeming to pick up speed
turning faster and faster
and opening my mind
to mad imaginings
of the carnal pleasures
you and he shared
the two of you sweating with desire
him whispering wanton instructions
and you coaxing his hard sex
into your anus
while you groaned with obscene pleasure
until at last your groans
became my groans
and my soul reached for you in the darkness
wanting you and wanting you still
but my heart bled blue bits of carrion
my every breath sucked and gasped gobs of
deathly disillusionment
until at last my legs buckled
my eyes rolled and closed
and i fell to the gravel
battered and broken by the realisation
that your life had spun
in circle after circle
across time and distance
so far away from mine
there was only an impossibly vast void
between us now
leaving me nothing but
a nightmare waltz
the impossible stumbling
of amputated feet
losing distance as you
soared into oblivion
and i remained hopelessly
spiraling downward
further and further
into irrelevance
