Wednesday, June 08, 2016

Wok On The Wild Side

Wok On The Wild Side


"Honey, wake up."

"What? What is it?"



"I have pain radiating from my stomach all the way down my legs."

"Oh, dear ... getting the flu?"

"No, it was that damn Chinese food. How many times do I have to tell you not to buy from that Middle Street Yangtze Palace?"

"Mmmmm ... try to sleep. It will pass."

"Noooo ... do something."

"What would you like me to do?"

"I'm all blocked up, I think."

"Mmmm ... terrible."

"Get me the stool softener."


"Yes, now."

"Where is it?"

"In your night table — bottom drawer."

"Turn on your light."

"See it?"

"Here it is. You're going to have to roll over."

"Do it slowly. Be gentle."

"Raise your bum a bit, and pull your cheeks apart."

"Like this?"

"Uh huh."

"You have to squeeze some of the ointment through the applicator before you stick it in."

"Yes, yes, I know. Squeezing."

"Owww ... slower ..."



"Oh dear."

"What? What is it?"

"There's something ..."


"I think you have a worm or something here ..."

"Are you kidding? Tell me you're kidding."

"Nooo ... there is something long and shiny ..."

"Oh, my God ... is it a tapeworm?"

"I don't even know what a tapeworm looks like."

"It's a damn tapeworm, isn't it?"

"Just a second."

"Ohhh, what are you doing?"

"I'm fishing it out."

"What is it?"


"What the hell is it?"



"It's nothing. It's ... it's a noodle."

"A noodle?"

"Lo Mein, I think ..."


"OK, I got it."

"Is there more?"

"No, just the one, I think."

"I swear, never again."


"No more Chinese food. That's it, no more."

"OK, inserting ..."

"Ohhhh ..."


"Nooooo ... feels ... different ..."

"You like that?"



"Can you go a little deeper?"

"Uh huh."

"So thick."

"Uh huh."


"Uh huh."

"Oh, ohhhh, that's not the stool softener, is it?"




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