Monday, May 16, 2016

My New Smart-Ass Phone


My New Smart-Ass Phone

Huh?

Oh yeah, I got my new smartphone from Amazon today.

I had to buy Prime, Slime and a Bottle Of Lime to get the free shipping option, but I think I did pretty well. I'll have it paid off in a couple of years. I bought the 10 Year In-House Warranty too, so if something goes wrong, I'm covered.

It's very cool.

You don't even need a cord. You can just walk around anywhere with it. I think you can even go outside ... not sure about that ...

Just a few minor glitches ...

I can't seem to download any apps, and I was hoping to kick some ass on "Words With Fiends" and have a go at "Mad Birds."

Oh well, it does make the neatest little beeps when you push the buttons. There's a green button for "Go" and a red button for "Stop."

Huh?

Oh, yeah, I've already used it. I called the pizza joint for a Hawaiian Deluxe, and I could almost really hear the guy. Just a little static, you know. No problem.

And I got a call from an old friend. He has a smartphone too, but get this ... it flips open. Geez, what a rip-off. Everytime he gets a call, he has to flip the thing. I'm thinking Carpal Tunnel, eh?

Well, I'd better be going. I want to try this "sexting" thing that everybody does. There's probably a button for it. Probably connects you to someone who has a gift with words, you know, a cunning linguist. But, hey, I don't even know how to start. What do you do? Punch in "Wot ya wearing?" Imma 404 ...

Huh? What's that? A/S/L/P ...?

OK, I'll try that, er, I mean, IHU ...

Oh, if you want to call me, the number is (202) 456-1111, but give me 5 minutes for my sexting escapade. No, make it 10 minutes. I'll probably need a shower afterwards.

B4N ... TTYL ... CU46 ...

 








 








 
 


Comments? Questions? Abuse? Innuendoes?
Click Here









© Kennedy James, 2016. All rights reserved.

All material in this site is copyrighted under International Copyright Law. Reproduction of original content, in any form and in whole or in part, save for fair use exemption, is prohibited by the author of this site without expressed, written permission.


 Powered by Blogger