Monday, May 30, 2016

The Confidant

The Confidant

I think everyone needs a confidant in life.

We all need someone we can confide in, someone with whom we can share our deepest secrets, someone who will understand our dreams and our sorrows.

Most of us had confidants as kids. Remember that special friend to whom you seemed to be able to tell all your deepest and darkest secrets? Important things, like how much you liked so-and-so, and how much you hated that other so-and-so, or how much you wanted to kiss a third so-and-so in the grade level one year above yours? Oh yes, important things and secret things that eventually didn't seem all that important or secret at all.

As we got older, some of us may have turned to a parent, usually our mothers, as our confidant. Others might have selected a special teacher at school. Even later in life, our husbands or our wives often became our confidants.

The point is that we need someone to talk to. I'm convinced that some of our problems have to be articulated in spoken language. It's not enough to simply have a talk with yourself, to keep everything inside your own little world. Some issues need an external, often more objective, point of view. As human beings, we tend to couple, and we couple because we need support from others — emotional support, financial support, spiritual support, a support bra, well, I'm sure you get my drift. Not many people are able to confront life all alone. Life is far too much like a roller-coaster with all its plummeting dips and crazy turns. It's always better to have someone to scream with you.

I'm not sure why, but I have never been a good confidant. Maybe it's because I can't keep a secret. Maybe I chuckle or make that "Pffffttt ..." sound at the wrong moments. Maybe I'm just not such a good listener.

To be honest, I've often thought of writing a blog as a form of revealing my life to a whole bunch of confidants. I probably write about stuff here that would never be a part of my daily conversations with people in my real world. Sometimes, I guess I provide a little too much information. Sometimes, I just let my opinions about things fly through the computer screen without so much as a second thought. Sometimes, I have to watch what I write, because feelings can be hurt. What's that old saying? "Nasty is as nasty does."

OK, that's not an old saying, but I like it.

I suppose that there are some people, most often seniors, who don't have a confidant. That seems a little sad to me. If you are one of those people, you can write me a note and tell me all your problems. I promise that I'll be a great confidant from this day forward. All your deepest secrets will be safe with me. Consider them in the vault and locked up for life.

Just don't tell anyone else that I am doing this for you.




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