Thursday, September 29, 2016

Grapefruit Cock-Tale



Grapefruit Cock-Tale

Some of you may have heard of using a grapefruit as a sexual stimulant in the bedroom. Perhaps you've heard of Auntie Angel, a Chicago-based YouTube sexpert and inventor of the "grapefruit blowjob," a fellatio technique supposedly so pleasurable and thrilling that it can allegedly induce a heart attack. You can watch her video on YouTube, but be forewarned, it has some simulated sexual content.

Now, please consider this a something of a PSA, a public service announcement and nothing more. I do not advocate that you try this technique, unless you're thinking you might want to rid yourself of a contentious boyfriend.

Food has had a long historical connection with sexual pleasure. If you have seen the film, 9½ Weeks, starring Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke, you'll remember the scene in which strawberries and chocolate play an important role in their lovemaking. Over the years, the banana, cucumber, carrot, and zucchini have also figured into sexual play. Even the doughnut has probably served in ways that Krispy Kreme never intended.

Until today, I had not heard of the grapefruit blowjob. Here's how it works:

  • Choose a decent size ruby red grapefruit.
  • Roll the grapefruit on the counter to soften it up and get the juices flowing inside the grapefruit.
  • Chop off both ends of the grapefruit so that only a slice from the middle remains.
  • Cut a hole the size of your partners penis in the middle.
  • Put a towel down over the bed or wherever it is you plan to have this little adventure. Apparently, this is extremely important, since the grapefruit blowjob can be very messy.
  • Purists of the grapefruit technique suggest that you blindfold your partner.
  • Initiate an arousal sequence of events to get that rocket ready for liftoff.
  • Slip the grapefruit segment over the penis and proceed to go to work.

Now, results will vary from mouth to mouth, but apparently a wild and wanton result is not unusual, with your partner bucking more wildly than a wild stallion saddled for the first time.

Fair Warning #1: You'll both need a good shower afterwards. In the hopefully explosive heat of the moment, grapefruit pulp will likely find its way everywhere.

Fair Warning #2: It has been reported that some men find the grapefruit texture and cool juices preferable to traditional ports of call. To this end, you may find your partner less interested in you and more interested in hanging out in the produce section of your local supermarket.

 








 








 
 


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