Exit Stage Right?Turn Me On Or Turn Me Loose
I know it's early in the morning (at least it is here) and all that, but what the heck ... let's talk sex ...
I think most of us would agree that sexual intimacy is not the be-all and end-all of a relationship. In fact, if sexual intimacy is all a couple has, then the relationship is probably in serious trouble.
Still, intimacy is important, and the refusal of one partner in a relationship to be intimate can also have some serious consequences. Now, I don't mean an occasional "Not tonight, I have such a headache" kind of refusal. I mean a recurring refusal or, in extreme cases, an outright denial of intimacy altogether. So, here's my question:
If one member of the relationship refuses sex, does the other member of the relationship have the "right" to seek intimacy with someone else?
In other words, if you refuse to "put out," is it all right for your significant other to "step out?"
I know it's early in the morning (at least it is here) and all that, but what the heck ... let's talk sex ...
I think most of us would agree that sexual intimacy is not the be-all and end-all of a relationship. In fact, if sexual intimacy is all a couple has, then the relationship is probably in serious trouble.
Still, intimacy is important, and the refusal of one partner in a relationship to be intimate can also have some serious consequences. Now, I don't mean an occasional "Not tonight, I have such a headache" kind of refusal. I mean a recurring refusal or, in extreme cases, an outright denial of intimacy altogether. So, here's my question:
If one member of the relationship refuses sex, does the other member of the relationship have the "right" to seek intimacy with someone else?
In other words, if you refuse to "put out," is it all right for your significant other to "step out?"
I reckon if intimacy is no longer a part of the relationship ... then the dynamics of the relationship have changed .... lovers to friends ... so I guess one would have to make the necessary changes.
ReplyDeleteLet's say you're comfortable in the relationship, for whatever reasons (financial, security, kids), could each of the partners legitimately find sex outside the relationship?
Delete...I guess they could ... they would then become house mates really .. so I guess then in essence ... they would be sharing a house .. but living separate lives .... is that a partnership .... Perhaps its the strongest form of partnership ... no emotional attachment ... Mmmm .... not too sure I could do that really ....
Deletefirstt....who took that photograph kennedy ? really love it.....
ReplyDeletesecond.....you know ....i've been at both ends of this equation...yeah...and i can honestly say that if sexual intimacy isnt there anymore...the yearning for it i mean....then there is something def. wrong there....u need both...
Haha ... yes, it is a great photo ...
DeleteSo, it's OK to step out ...
As far as it being a "right" - Marriage is like a contract. Various obligations and stipulations, both expressed and implied, define that contract.
ReplyDeleteAs with any contract, if one of the parties fails to live up to the terms of the contract - for whatever reason - they have in fact broken the contract and it is the right of the aggrieved party to do whatever they wish, being freed of their own obligations, as the contract is now null and void.
~M
Under contract law, you would definitely be correct in assuming the "null and void" provision has kicked in ...
Delete"I mean a recurring refusal or, in extreme cases, an outright denial of intimacy altogether."
DeleteI would go so far as to say that even physical limitations, ala Lady Chatterley's Lover, which prohibit one of the partners from fulfilling their obligations is sufficient justification for the other member of the marriage to seek extra marital relations.
Whether the reason for a sexless partnership is a lack of desire or the physical limitations of one of the partners, the result is still the same and the unfulfilled party remains unfulfilled, regardless of the reason.
~M
I've known married couples who had open relationships with other people. Eventually, the arrangements failed and the marriages ended in divorce.
ReplyDeleteFor me, personally, I would not want an open relationship. I would rather work through the issues or let my partner go to find happiness elsewhere. No one wants to feel second best no matter what the circumstances might be.
Open relationships can be tough, but sometimes there is a higher goal than sexual gratification ...
DeleteAt the time, perhaps so, but I don't see open relationships lasting for the long haul no matter what the "higher goal" might be. I don't want to share my life with someone who wants to share his body with another woman.
Delete"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness"
ReplyDeleteI think it falls under that "pursuit of Happiness" phrase :-P
All kidding aside, I wouldn't say people have the "right" , but I suppose there is the "option". And if you set aside, God, morals, and commitment I suppose anything goes.
Personally, I could not do it, but to each his own.