Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Shower Power

Shower Power

Ooooohhh ... I just got out of the shower.

I've come to believe that a shower is one of the most therapeutic things you can do.

On a cold winter morning, you can climb into a warm shower and it melts all those frosty aches and pains away.

On a warm summer's night, you can have a cool shower, and suddenly, the world doesn't feel quite so sticky and closed in around you.

This morning, I was fighting the remnants of a "too-much-night-before," and I simply let the hot steamy water crash down over my head and back. Oh my, all those tight muscles just eased right up. It felt divine.

I don't have a fancy shower. I am thinking of buying one of those shower heads that pulsate. I might like the kaboom-kaboom-kaboom of the water beating me into oblivion.

Some people have shower heads that mimic rainfall. You stand under them, and the water trickles down like rain. I don't think I'd like that so much. I like a little zip to the spray.

Some people have a shower head on a flexible tube. You can move it around your body. You can flush out those cracks and crevices. Or, you can hold it in a certain sensitive area until you feel a certain sense of relief. I do not have one of those remote shower heads. I would have to be somewhat more than acrobatic to get my shower head into a crack or crevice.

Some people pee in the shower. I am not one of those folks. However, I am not judgemental with regards to people who pee in the shower. Just remember, you're standing in urine for at least half a minute or so.

Some people sing in the shower. I used to sing Frank Sinatra songs when I showered, but I don't anymore. Someone told me that I was a "little" off-key. That was enough to make me self-conscious for life.

Some people wash their hair in the shower. I do. Why wouldn't you? I use shampoo that smells like coconut.

Some people wear shower caps to keep their hair dry when they shower. Those kind of people are stuck in the 1950's.

Some people loofah in the shower. I have no loofahs. I read once that they were breeding grounds for bacteria, and when you use them, you are just grinding that bacteria into your skin and sensitive areas. So no loofahs for me. I do have a back scrubbing brush. I'm not sure that I trust it to be completely germ-free.

Some people use a pumice stone on their feet in the shower. All I can say to those folks is that it's a shower, not a woodworking shop.

Some people brush their teeth in the shower. I brush my teeth over the sink.

Some people shave in the shower, and some women shave in unmentionable places. To me, that's just gross. All those hairs ... do they all make it all the way down the drain? I don't think so. Yuk!

Some people use moisturizer in the shower. I used to use baby oil when I showered, but it leaves a slick residue all over the shower stall, and you're likely to go for a flip if you make one wrong step. Nobody wants to fall in the shower. There are far too many things to hit on your way down.

Some people tie lavender, eucalyptus, or lemongrass around the shower head. Presumably, the hot steam releases a kind of aroma therapy. I am not an aroma therapy kind of guy. The only aroma I ever get is if I fart in the shower. I can't say that is a pleasant experience.

Some people have sex in the shower. Well, that gives new meaning to the term, "wet willy."

Some people masturbate in the shower. That gives new meaning to the term, "wet dream."

Some people have a baby shower. Very little water is involved.

Some people get murdered in the shower, like what you see in the opening scene of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. I only add this last fact as a precaution. Lock the bathroom door before you step into the shower. You never know.




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