Friday, July 24, 2015

A Little Of This And A Little Of That

A Little Of This And A Little Of That

I'm sitting here watching the sun rise out of a very cool bank of clouds. And, for some reason, I'm thinking of a Tequila Sunrise, that drink that was once popular.

Now, I'm not a drinking man, but I do encourage people to have a lick of liquor once in a while. Some people say it's good for you.

Old people, folks who crack the 100 year barrier, often show up on TV, and when some wag asks, "What's the secret of a long life?" they say something like "Well, I had a shot of whisky and a cigar every day. That's what kept me going."

Now, I reckon that may be good advice. I can't be sure. Not a whole mess of people live to be over 100. So, you have to wonder what happened to the rest of them. Maybe they skipped a day. That could be a fatal error in the march to immortality.

As for me, well, I maintain a steady diet of balancing the bullocks. More often than not, I'll find myself having a midnight snack of 85% chocolate with a piece of lettuce. My reasoning is simple. Since the chocolate is probably not good for me, I figure the lettuce kind of counterbalances the negative effects.

The same is true if I decide to eat a cheesecake. Not a slice of cheesecake ... the whole cheesecake. I figure that since there is cheese somewhere in the concoction, I'm good. Cheese ... protein. And I heard somewhere that protein balances the carbs and strains out all the sugar that you're obviously going to find in such a tasty delight.

Then, of course, there's that whole fatty food issue.

From what I understand, there are fats and there are fats. Some fats are evil. These are the trans fats. Other fats? Not so bad.

So, when you eat things like steak or deep fried chicken, we're told to be wary. The portion size of any beef should presumably be judged by the size of your palm. The rule of thumb is that you should never eat any more than you can hold in your hand. So, I'll often make myself a great steak sandwich that fits perfectly in my palm. It might be half a foot high, but it conforms to the general rule — no bigger around than the palm of my hand.

As for that fried chicken, well, you really must peel off the skin before you eat it. Just put that crisp, golden brown, fat-dripping epidermis on my plate. I'll take care of it for you.

Now, I know people have real health issues, and they should definitely attend to those on a daily basis. A little food, a little exercise, and little time for relaxation, just a little-little of everything. Life is a buffet. Lots of great things to do and enjoy, but heck, you don't have to push your way through the line of Weight Watchers alumni just to fill your plate three times over. Everything has a limit.

Sometimes, the little pleasures are the best. A little romance, a little love, a little sex, a little laughter ... we only seem to get indigestion and gassy discomfort when we overdo things.

What's that saying? Everything in moderation? Good advice.

So, remember, one shot of whisky and one cigar every day should do the trick. I can't guarantee that you'll live to be more than 100, but what the heck, by the time you're 60, you won't have enough brain cells left to give a damn.



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