Monday, October 03, 2016

It's The Singer, Not The Thong

It's The Singer, Not The Thong

An individual's choice of underwear should surely be a personal matter, and yet men are constantly facing this rather curious question from the women they meet — Boxers or Briefs?

For the life of me, I have never figured out what relevance this conundrum has.

Are boxers somehow sexier than briefs? Or is it the other way around?

Do boxers allow for easier access to the man's penis and scrotum than briefs do?

Are briefs something of a turn-off, since they sometimes allow for that overflow of cellulite beneath the rear elastic binding?

Do boxers make a guy look like a boxer? Should punching gloves be sold with boxers as a matching set?

Do briefs suggest a kind of immaturity, because that's what seven-year-old boys wear?

Are boxers cooler because they allow for more airflow?

Could you answer your door wearing briefs?

Since the "fly" of boxers is a slit, is there some chance that you may flop out of them?

Do briefs hold in an erection in a manner than boxers can't?

Is it easier to pee wearing boxers or briefs?

Then, there's the question of sperm count. Do briefs traumatize the scrotum so much that the little goo-goo guys commit hara–kiri like disgraced samurai?

To make matters worse, there is now a new contender in the argument for boxers or briefs. Did you know that men are now being invited, and even encouraged, to wear thongs?

Thongs? Really?

Oh yes, men's thongs come in regular, roomy and snug for the pouch area, and of course, each type of thong features that strip of cloth trying to cram its way into your anus.

All these questions. All these decisions to make.

If we were to default to our most natural state, I suppose men wouldn't wear underwear of any kind. Going "commando" has become more and more popular over the years. There's a certain, uh, readiness when a man goes without any underwear. However, there are obvious disadvantages to not wearing underwear. For example, leaks from any nether orifice are impossible to disguise, and a good shart will definitely ruin your day at the office.

Finally, I must confess that I have never seen my underwear, be it boxers or briefs, as in any way similar to a woman's lingerie. I find lingerie extremely sexy and sensual, but mostly because I love how it peels off.

Thankfully, I have never had a woman say to me, "Don't take your underwear off right away." Not that it would matter — if the love alarm is ringing, I'm first out of all my clothes.

No, I see beauty and sexuality as something more than underwear deep. It's what's inside that counts.




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