A DepartureLines In The Sand
I sometimes dream of the younger me, the boy who grew to be the man I am today. I have no idea what goes into the making of a person. All the experiences we have encountered must affect how we live today. Some good, some bad, some happy and some cruelly tragic and sad.
Along the way, I guess the people with whom we share our lives must also have an effect. All so complicated.
Many years ago, I had a time of deep self-reflection. It was then that I decided that I needed boundaries. So I decided it was time to draw lines in the sand, lines that determine what I would allow and what I would not allow into my life.
I now have very strict principles that govern how I live. Some of those are based on those awkward things we call morals or values, but some are based on simple common sense. For example, I do not tolerate fools or liars. If people are not honest with me, then I close the door on them rather quickly.
Yesterday, in the aftermath of the Connecticut incident, I found myself drifting back into the room of metaphysics and contemplating spirituality, particularly as it relates to the randomness of life and death — well, you know, why the deaths of such innocent children and why a killing bullet never really stops.
For me, such philosophical meanderings are not allowed. Confusion, disbelief, doubt, and doting on life's tragic moments are on the other side of a line I do not cross. I allow my emotional responses to such events to be what they are. I do not look for consolation or validation of the way I feel. I simply feel, and that is enough.
I guess I live in the moment for the moment, with a sense that life is what it is, for good or bad, but I also believe that the future will always work itself out for the best. I have no sense of why things happen or whether, as many believe, everything happens for a reason. I suspect some things have no reason, and may be simply random events in a random universe.
Maybe there is, as some might say, "a purpose to everything under Heaven," but I think that I'll just leave such considerations to the mystics and those who believe they have an answer for every puzzling event that life throws in our paths.
I don't have answers.
Fortunately, I don't have questions either.
I sometimes dream of the younger me, the boy who grew to be the man I am today. I have no idea what goes into the making of a person. All the experiences we have encountered must affect how we live today. Some good, some bad, some happy and some cruelly tragic and sad.
Along the way, I guess the people with whom we share our lives must also have an effect. All so complicated.
Many years ago, I had a time of deep self-reflection. It was then that I decided that I needed boundaries. So I decided it was time to draw lines in the sand, lines that determine what I would allow and what I would not allow into my life.
I now have very strict principles that govern how I live. Some of those are based on those awkward things we call morals or values, but some are based on simple common sense. For example, I do not tolerate fools or liars. If people are not honest with me, then I close the door on them rather quickly.
Yesterday, in the aftermath of the Connecticut incident, I found myself drifting back into the room of metaphysics and contemplating spirituality, particularly as it relates to the randomness of life and death — well, you know, why the deaths of such innocent children and why a killing bullet never really stops.
For me, such philosophical meanderings are not allowed. Confusion, disbelief, doubt, and doting on life's tragic moments are on the other side of a line I do not cross. I allow my emotional responses to such events to be what they are. I do not look for consolation or validation of the way I feel. I simply feel, and that is enough.
I guess I live in the moment for the moment, with a sense that life is what it is, for good or bad, but I also believe that the future will always work itself out for the best. I have no sense of why things happen or whether, as many believe, everything happens for a reason. I suspect some things have no reason, and may be simply random events in a random universe.
Maybe there is, as some might say, "a purpose to everything under Heaven," but I think that I'll just leave such considerations to the mystics and those who believe they have an answer for every puzzling event that life throws in our paths.
I don't have answers.
Fortunately, I don't have questions either.
I've been deeply saddened by the tragic gun killings. I was nauseous from the constant coverage. When I worked , I asked that the channel be turned in the lounge and fortunately everyone else felt the same way. We weren't denying. We had just had enough. It was heart wrenching. I think the whole nation grieves for these families. It's so very tragic and sad. I, too, have drawn boundaries of protection. These boundaries that I've drawn, I do believe are healthy. I was told this weekend to be careful. That my kindness and compassion can be seen as a weakness. I thought how sad is that. How sad that giving our time and care to others is weak. So this season , I'm thankful for those who show kindness and compassion in a world that considers acts if kindness weak. ,,,,,,,
ReplyDeleteI don't think that any act of kindness is a sign of weakness. Probably a sign of strength more than anything else.
DeleteBoundaries are good. When I was young, I was wide open to anything and everything, but I learned that some people take advantage.
.... I do believe that everything happens for a reason ... all the reasons of the past are what make us who we are now ... I dont have questions .. but I do have my answers ... my answers lie within the reasons for my belief's and understandings ... for at the end of the day ... our journeys are our own .. and no one can alter that. What happened was a senseless tragedy and my heart goes out to those who now suffer .. but there are people suffering similar tragedies all over the world ... the lesson's life ... and none of us are exempt ......
ReplyDeleteWell, you're right to say that no one is exempt ...
DeleteOne of the problems with having answers is that they may be your answers but may not always be applicable to someone else ... but, hey, you're a mom ... you're expected to have answers ... :o}
Aaaah .. ~smile~ ... I would never assume to have the answers for anyone else but myself. To have the answers for another is to ... kind of judge them? ... I do guide the kids within my beliefs and with my life's experience .... but they are 100%... definitely encouraged to sift through their own options in order to find their own answers ... and the truth of who they are ... even Ceirra ....
DeleteHello my friend!
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you will call morals or values awkward? Without them, we would not know what was right and wrong, good or evil. ..the society would fall apart and become chaos.
No questions? Are you sure? I sensed a big WHY in your post.
Morals/values are awkward in mixed company. Your values may not always jive with someone else's ... that's why I call them awkward ...
DeleteHaha ... yes there may be a WHY floating around ... but I'd be the last to admit it ...
We all draw lines in the sand ... build walls ... know what is and isn't acceptable. Like you, I have no answers, but I'm full of questions. Peace!
ReplyDelete