Life's Little HurdlesJumpin' Jack Flash
I have decided to run the 100 metres hurdles in the next summer Olympics.
Oh sure, you snicker and laugh. You can't imagine an old guy with a penchant for metaphor running in the Olympic Games, but don't count me out so quickly. After all, I've been jumping hurdles most of my life, so I may well be better trained for the event than you think.
Now, I'm not completely sure how far 100 metres is. To the best of my knowledge, it's a bit farther than running from here to the bathroom, but I'm sure I can run at least 99 metres, and then when I collapse at the end, I figure some part of my body, maybe a flailing arm, a twitching big toe, or an outstretched middle finger, something will surely flop over the finish line. If not, a bit of grovelling should complete the race. Lord knows, I know about grovelling as well.
Some of you may be asking yourself why I choose to run the hurdles. Why not just run the 100 metres without the hurdles? The straight sprint seems a bit too simple to me. The hurdles involve some thinking, and I need a little challenge to motivate me. Anyway, I'm not sure I'm actually going to jump those little fence rails. I may just plough right through them. No one has perfected that technique yet, and maybe it's time I revolutionized the sport.
Most Olympic runners skip over hurdles quite gracefully. OK, a few runners misjudge things from time to time and fall flat on their faces, and it's all a huge tragedy in their lives. All that training and and all those years of self-sacrifice for nothing. Usually, someone like Spike Lee ends up doing a documentary on them for A&E, because nothing sells better than failure.
Well, how ridiculous is that? When someone loses a seven-year-old daughter to leukaemia or an eighteen-year-old son to a Afghani roadside bomb, then that's tragic. Death-out-of-place is tragic. Tripping over a hurdle in the Olympics or in any aspect of life is just a boo-boo. You simply have to pick yourself up and keep running for the finish line.
Not everyone keeps running. Some quit and veer off the track to have a bottle of Gatorade while they think up excuses for not finishing the race. They'll say things like, "The hurdles were set up all wrong ..." or "My asthma kicked in just as I was about to really take off for gold ..." Those are great excuses, way better than anything I could think up, but then, I'm not really about excuses.
I figure you finish what you start. Start a book? Finish it. Start your dinner? Finish it. Start a relationship? Finish it. Start a divorce? Finish that too. For good or bad, finish everything. Otherwise, you end up wondering and dancing the "what-if" shuffle. To be honest, that kind of wondering is the worst condition I can imagine.
You can't live your life sitting around and muttering, "I wonder if I had done this ... I wonder if I had done that ... I wonder how my life would have been different?" Leave all that "Road Not Taken" stuff to the poets and the dreamers. All that wondering just screws up your brain, and you forget about the purpose. The purpose? Yes, the purpose — the why you are here kicking around this earth for a short while. We all have a purpose. Most people don't know what their purpose is, but so what? One day it will become obvious, so stay on the track and keep running the race until you hit the finish line.
If you see me out there smashing my way through hurdles, be sure to say "Hello." Maybe we can run together for a couple of metres or so.
If you don't see me there, don't be alarmed. After all, it's just 100 metres, and no one gets to race forever. The best anyone can do is to run while you can and, one way or another, conquer every hurdle along the way.
I have decided to run the 100 metres hurdles in the next summer Olympics.
Oh sure, you snicker and laugh. You can't imagine an old guy with a penchant for metaphor running in the Olympic Games, but don't count me out so quickly. After all, I've been jumping hurdles most of my life, so I may well be better trained for the event than you think.
Now, I'm not completely sure how far 100 metres is. To the best of my knowledge, it's a bit farther than running from here to the bathroom, but I'm sure I can run at least 99 metres, and then when I collapse at the end, I figure some part of my body, maybe a flailing arm, a twitching big toe, or an outstretched middle finger, something will surely flop over the finish line. If not, a bit of grovelling should complete the race. Lord knows, I know about grovelling as well.
Some of you may be asking yourself why I choose to run the hurdles. Why not just run the 100 metres without the hurdles? The straight sprint seems a bit too simple to me. The hurdles involve some thinking, and I need a little challenge to motivate me. Anyway, I'm not sure I'm actually going to jump those little fence rails. I may just plough right through them. No one has perfected that technique yet, and maybe it's time I revolutionized the sport.
Most Olympic runners skip over hurdles quite gracefully. OK, a few runners misjudge things from time to time and fall flat on their faces, and it's all a huge tragedy in their lives. All that training and and all those years of self-sacrifice for nothing. Usually, someone like Spike Lee ends up doing a documentary on them for A&E, because nothing sells better than failure.
Well, how ridiculous is that? When someone loses a seven-year-old daughter to leukaemia or an eighteen-year-old son to a Afghani roadside bomb, then that's tragic. Death-out-of-place is tragic. Tripping over a hurdle in the Olympics or in any aspect of life is just a boo-boo. You simply have to pick yourself up and keep running for the finish line.
Not everyone keeps running. Some quit and veer off the track to have a bottle of Gatorade while they think up excuses for not finishing the race. They'll say things like, "The hurdles were set up all wrong ..." or "My asthma kicked in just as I was about to really take off for gold ..." Those are great excuses, way better than anything I could think up, but then, I'm not really about excuses.
I figure you finish what you start. Start a book? Finish it. Start your dinner? Finish it. Start a relationship? Finish it. Start a divorce? Finish that too. For good or bad, finish everything. Otherwise, you end up wondering and dancing the "what-if" shuffle. To be honest, that kind of wondering is the worst condition I can imagine.
You can't live your life sitting around and muttering, "I wonder if I had done this ... I wonder if I had done that ... I wonder how my life would have been different?" Leave all that "Road Not Taken" stuff to the poets and the dreamers. All that wondering just screws up your brain, and you forget about the purpose. The purpose? Yes, the purpose — the why you are here kicking around this earth for a short while. We all have a purpose. Most people don't know what their purpose is, but so what? One day it will become obvious, so stay on the track and keep running the race until you hit the finish line.
If you see me out there smashing my way through hurdles, be sure to say "Hello." Maybe we can run together for a couple of metres or so.
If you don't see me there, don't be alarmed. After all, it's just 100 metres, and no one gets to race forever. The best anyone can do is to run while you can and, one way or another, conquer every hurdle along the way.
Oh great! So now I have to run and while running I have to figure out my purpose and if I don't figure it out by the end, do I have to run all over again?
ReplyDeleteHaha ... no, you will figure it out if only at the very end ...
Deletehehehe you were so right, I was laughing after reading first lines, but then... it's so wise and beautiful what you wrote... I'm agree with you that we need to finish everything what we have started and we need to keep running till the moment we still can.
ReplyDeleteWell, Doronette, you can run with me if you like ... and we will finish ... ;o}
DeleteChallenge accepted just be sure to meet some stairs on your way lol
Delete"For good or bad, finish everything. Otherwise, you end up wondering and dancing the "what-if" shuffle. To be honest, that kind of wondering is the worst condition I can imagine."
ReplyDelete"We all have a purpose. Most people don't know what their purpose is, but so what? One day it will become obvious, so stay on the track and keep running the race until you hit the finish line."
Some excellent points, KJ. You've inspired me. I'm counting up my blood pressure pills and my aspirin supply, and I'm going for the gusto this next season--the Ironman Triathlon.
~Manfred
If anyone can do it, you can Manfred ... train, train, train ... good for the body AND the soul ...
Delete... even though they can be pretty harsh on the shins at times ... those hurdles definitely add a sense of achievement!!
ReplyDeleteHaha ... yes, well, I hadn't thought of that ... ;o}
Deletehmmm I could do the hurdles with you if I can go under instead of over (they are usually more than half my height) :p
ReplyDeleteHaha ... yes, that works for me ... ;o}
DeleteFinish what you start? Is that what you said? OK, I'm going to finish off a pumpkin muffin from Dunkin' Donuts first thing in the morning ... :)
ReplyDeleteWell, the danger is that, after enough of those muffins, you might turn into a pumpkin ... ;o}
DeleteI feel like I'm a dog on the end of those leashes that you spool out and seems to have no end. Trouble is, the guy on the other end is me...
ReplyDeleteJeanie ... too funny ... :o)
Delete