Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Upside Down

Upside Down

I'm considering going into a depression. I need some sleep, and apparently when you are depressed you sleep quite a bit. I'm thinking maybe I could just turn on the television, lie on my couch with an oh-so-cuddly comforter, and crash in front of the old-time movies channel. Why the old-times movie channel? Well, that way I wouldn't feel like I was missing something, because I've seen almost all the movies they run, except the Chuck Norris movies, which I refuse to watch, simply as a matter of good taste.

Do you eat more when you are depressed? You see, I don't eat much these days. I like little snacks, but I never eat the BIG meal, and I refuse to follow the brainwashing we had as kids to eat certain foods at breakfast, other foods at lunch, and some whopping big hunk of whatever at dinner. On any given day, I might eat a bit of steak or fish for "breakfast" and a bowl of cereal for "dinner."

I don't suppose you can be depressed without a good case of the blues and a tendency to roll around in the mud of self-pity. I have no blues these days. Life is good, but I suppose that I could certainly find something in my life to whip into some form of self-pity. I'm sure that I can find something to blame my parents for.

I wonder, though, if I get into this depression gig, whether I will end up watching The View and Oprah, like all the other depressed homebodies?

Will I end up looking for some kind of self-help on the Internet or start reading those ridiculous books that pretend to have the answer to all of life's little problems?

Will I only sing Leonard Cohen songs in the shower?

Will I even bother to shower?

Perhaps, I should give all this depression stuff more thought. I would hate the idea of my son or daughter coming by, shoving Prozac in my mouth, holding my lips closed, and rubbing my neck until I swallow. After all, once people think you're depressed, then apparently you're locked into that stereotype for the rest of your life. People don't seem to be able to think of depression as a disease that can be cured. It's sort of like the way we treat alcoholics. Once you are one, you will always be one.

What nonsense we live.

We need to turn our thinking upside down.



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