Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall

What You See ... Is What You See

Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall

Mirrors are funny things.

Some mirrors are very complimentary. They make you look great no matter how tall you are, no matter if you've added a pound or two to your backside, no matter what you're wearing. They just seem
to love you for who you are, and when you check yourself out, you're as handsome as Brad Pitt or as beautiful as Angelina Jolie.

Other mirrors ... not so friendly. No matter what you do, you can't please them. The reflection they throw back at you is an obvious imperfect refraction or some kind, and you look shockingly like Quasimodo, the Hunchback of Notre Dame. These are the mirrors that some urban legends claim will "steal your soul." They don't really steal your soul, of course, but they rough it up pretty good.

Then, of course there are the three way mirrors, you know, the kind in department stores that give you a bird's eye view from three different angles. These are the worst of the mirrors.

After all, who wants to see themselves in three dimensions. What looks good on one side of you is tarnished by some droopy imperfection on the other side. One butt cheek looks as tight as a grape, the other looks more like a pumpkin ready for Hallowe'en carving. You know it can't be true, but there it is. Truth, reality ... right there in the mirror.

Mirrors at a summer carnival are just fun mirrors. Some make you look reeeeeally tall and skinny, and some make you look reeeeeally short and dumpy. The idea is to look at yourself distorted all to heck in these mirrors and say, "Oh, that's funny." The problem is that not many people say that. They look in these weird mirrors and wonder. I'm never sure what they're wondering. Maybe they're surprised to see a reflection too close to the way they think they really do look. Ah, these times of body image perplexity ... so strange.

Mirrors opposite or above a bed are full of naughty people. It doesn't matter what the people in these mirrors look like. Usually, they're having too good a time.

Windows are not mirrors, but sometimes, if the light is right, you'll see your reflection in a window. Don't be fooled by these wannabe mirrors. What you see in a window isn't you. A window is the devil's mirror. Trust me, you look nothing like the troll you see looking back at you from a window.

Then, of course, there are the mirrors of other people's eyes. Your family sees you differently from the way the cabbie on Main Street sees you. Your lover sees you differently from the way the pizza delivery boy sees you. I guess it's all about perception in such cases. You can't really know how all the people around you actually see you. Some will see a beauty queen; others will see a drag queen. Even time plays a part in this conundrum. One day, you look fabulously sexy in the eyes of your dinner date, but the next morning, you look like the whore of Babylon, and he doesn't even stay for toast and tea.

We live in an age of vanity, I suppose, and so we must have our mirrors to "prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet," as T S Eliot once noted. Just remember, don't always blame the mirror at the end of the hallway. How you "see" yourself in your own mind's eye can have the most profound effect on you. If you see yourself as a fat and ugly monstrosity, then no mirror in the world will change that perception. If you see yourself as the diva of everyone's desire, then I guess that is what you'll see in every passing mirror along life's journey. There is, of course, a middle ground, and most people have a fairly sane and reasonable self-image. OK, maybe not most, but some do ... right?

More importantly, feeling good about yourself need not always be based on one's real or imagined physical attributes. Sometimes it's what is NOT in the mirror that matters. What never shows up in any mirror is the quality of your character and your sense of purpose in life. See yourself as a loving, compassionate, and honest person, and that is hopefully what you will be in life. See yourself as a conniving, abusive, selfish thug, then that's probably who you are. Socrates once said, "Know thyself." I'm not sure, but he was probably onto something important.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Well, I'm off to the gym.

I love my gym. It has walls completely covered with mirrors, and not just any mirrors, I suspect. These must be special order mirrors because, when I'm there stretching and flexing my muscles as I hoist those 10 lb dumbbells almost over my head, I swear I look a great deal like Arnold Schwarzenegger, just without the hair and the accent.

Bliss.