Po-MeTuna for Tuesday ... Give Or Take A Day
Sometimes I think that too much sympathy is a bad thing.
Don't get me wrong. I'm a sucker for the po'me complex that some people have. I always seem to get sucked into thinking that I can help, that I can put together some revitalizing words of encouragement and hope to make those blue meanies go away.
But lately, I've come to realise that some po'me people can't exist outside of their pain, whether that pain be physical or psychological, real or imagined. In those cases, all you do by offering sympathy is reinforce that po'me state of mind.
Most po'mes only want attention, but some hard case po'mes want validation. By agreeing with a po'me that they are suffering some grave injustice of the world, we acknowledge that that po'me is a victim. With enough of this kind of wrong-minded encouragement, the po'me becomes hooked on an obsessive need for more kindness, more caring, more "Huggs." Before long, the po-me becomes an habitual woe-is-me.
Self-pity is addictive. Some people thrive on it, possibly because they don't know another way of living. They'll say they want lobster for dinner, but end up simply settling for a tuna sandwich, because that is what they think they deserve.
Settling is not allowed.
I think that's a rule somewhere.
Sometimes I think that too much sympathy is a bad thing.
Don't get me wrong. I'm a sucker for the po'me complex that some people have. I always seem to get sucked into thinking that I can help, that I can put together some revitalizing words of encouragement and hope to make those blue meanies go away.
But lately, I've come to realise that some po'me people can't exist outside of their pain, whether that pain be physical or psychological, real or imagined. In those cases, all you do by offering sympathy is reinforce that po'me state of mind.
Most po'mes only want attention, but some hard case po'mes want validation. By agreeing with a po'me that they are suffering some grave injustice of the world, we acknowledge that that po'me is a victim. With enough of this kind of wrong-minded encouragement, the po'me becomes hooked on an obsessive need for more kindness, more caring, more "Huggs." Before long, the po-me becomes an habitual woe-is-me.
Self-pity is addictive. Some people thrive on it, possibly because they don't know another way of living. They'll say they want lobster for dinner, but end up simply settling for a tuna sandwich, because that is what they think they deserve.
Settling is not allowed.
I think that's a rule somewhere.
I have ups and downs, one year it was ALL DOWN, but the one thing about me when I get down is I get pissed off about it and next thing you know I am fine, laughing. Overall I have a good life, much to be thankful for and I will be damned if I will let some dark cloud ruin my life ! :-)
ReplyDeleteSo if and when I ever write one of those "down" blogs, I do not want any pity. I will take a swift kick in the butt to put me back on my fee though :-)
Have a good day Kennedy :-)
One swift kick it is then ... sort of a variation on "tough love" ...
DeleteI meant "feet" not "fee" , ugh they need an editing tool for comments here
ReplyDeleteSettling is not allowed. It's what I learned when I went thru the worst of woes. Someone wrote on blogster for English last night that sometimes having the worst job makes us work harder and want more. There are those who never act tho and they settle. They think in what might be, maybe even start a plan, but only go back to the same old duds. Words of encouragement help everyone. It's never a loss. Just some chose to move while others stay. Ah great write.
ReplyDelete"Words of encouragement help everyone."
DeleteYes, everyone does need encouragement, and I guess, sometimes it's hard to see that. My only beef is with the people who "crave" encouragement and, like you say, do nothing different anyway ...
My beef is with people who take the most innocent of comments made by a friend, post the comments in a blog for everyone to see, act outraged that a friend could say such things, and expect everyone else to be outraged, too. They don't want pity ... they want validation that they are toxic and just plain mean.
ReplyDeleteYes, that's not playing fair ...
Deletethis is soooo true and so pathetic
DeleteI get worn out by those who scream for attention those who constantly cry out: look at me, look at me poor pitiful me...
ReplyDelete(I was trying to subtly go there in poem...I think you got that)
Yes, I got that in your poem. I sometimes think it's all about insecurity with these people. Low self-esteem and no life ... so they turn to the victim role ... it is quite sad ...
Delete