Don't Look BackHello ... Goodbye
It's the late night phone call, the letter, the awkward last kiss and hug, the bag of "your stuff," the gossipy friends, the two-day-later voice on an answering machine, the sleeplessness, the bittersweet letting go ...
It's funny. I have never had a problem with goodbyes. Sure, they're sad sometimes, tragic, full of drama, but any goodbye is also a dividing line that makes perfect sense to me. On that side, we were lovers; on this side, we are not. Or, as I like to say, the opposite of being with me is not being with me. Simple as that.
Hellos are complicated. Yes, getting to know someone is wonderful, exciting and all that, but still complicated. Hellos are a journey of discovery. Who are you? What kind of food/music/books/movies do you like? Did you know you talk in your sleep? What do you mean you think I dress like a homeless person? You have some broccoli in your teeth. Oh, so complicated and really quite time-consuming.
When it comes to goodbyes, no one cares about much of anything any more. Nice knowing you. Take care. Be safe. Have a nice life. Here, let me throw you a hundred more little platitudes.
Some people have their goodbyes down to a fine art. I suspect they've had a great deal of practice. I know, that sounds a little insensitive, but I swear, some people have their exit lines and an escape route planned even before they start a relationship. I suspect those people suffer from glass-half-emptyism — always expecting the worst in life.
After all, saying hello is a leap of faith, faith in yourself and your other, faith in the possibility that love has a long, albeit undefinable, future. Sadly, it's that very undefinable quality that screws some people up. Some people like to draw up a blueprint and plan the course of love right down to the final moments of breath. Therein lies the problem. Love is so tricky. Just when you think it's going this way, it goes that way. And if you're still going this way, while the relationship is going that way, I can almost guarantee you that there will be a goodbye in the offing.
Of course, sometimes someone in a goodbye scenario can be absolutely crushed by it. Then the goodbye doesn't seem so simple and easy. It's always a nasty business when anyone gets really, really hurt. "Owww ... I never saw that coming." I wonder, though, how some people don't know, don't realise what's coming?
Hellos have foreplay and so do goodbyes. From my experience, there are always plenty of warning signs prior to someone dropping the G-bomb on your plate. If one chooses to ignore the tiptoe moments foreshadowing a goodbye, well, there's bound to be some heartache. Sure love is blind, but it shouldn't also be deaf and dumb.
It's the late night phone call, the letter, the awkward last kiss and hug, the bag of "your stuff," the gossipy friends, the two-day-later voice on an answering machine, the sleeplessness, the bittersweet letting go ...
It's funny. I have never had a problem with goodbyes. Sure, they're sad sometimes, tragic, full of drama, but any goodbye is also a dividing line that makes perfect sense to me. On that side, we were lovers; on this side, we are not. Or, as I like to say, the opposite of being with me is not being with me. Simple as that.
Hellos are complicated. Yes, getting to know someone is wonderful, exciting and all that, but still complicated. Hellos are a journey of discovery. Who are you? What kind of food/music/books/movies do you like? Did you know you talk in your sleep? What do you mean you think I dress like a homeless person? You have some broccoli in your teeth. Oh, so complicated and really quite time-consuming.
When it comes to goodbyes, no one cares about much of anything any more. Nice knowing you. Take care. Be safe. Have a nice life. Here, let me throw you a hundred more little platitudes.
Some people have their goodbyes down to a fine art. I suspect they've had a great deal of practice. I know, that sounds a little insensitive, but I swear, some people have their exit lines and an escape route planned even before they start a relationship. I suspect those people suffer from glass-half-emptyism — always expecting the worst in life.
After all, saying hello is a leap of faith, faith in yourself and your other, faith in the possibility that love has a long, albeit undefinable, future. Sadly, it's that very undefinable quality that screws some people up. Some people like to draw up a blueprint and plan the course of love right down to the final moments of breath. Therein lies the problem. Love is so tricky. Just when you think it's going this way, it goes that way. And if you're still going this way, while the relationship is going that way, I can almost guarantee you that there will be a goodbye in the offing.
Of course, sometimes someone in a goodbye scenario can be absolutely crushed by it. Then the goodbye doesn't seem so simple and easy. It's always a nasty business when anyone gets really, really hurt. "Owww ... I never saw that coming." I wonder, though, how some people don't know, don't realise what's coming?
Hellos have foreplay and so do goodbyes. From my experience, there are always plenty of warning signs prior to someone dropping the G-bomb on your plate. If one chooses to ignore the tiptoe moments foreshadowing a goodbye, well, there's bound to be some heartache. Sure love is blind, but it shouldn't also be deaf and dumb.
hello kennedy!
ReplyDeletewhat a nice blog! some of us have been watching your hellos and goodbyes. surely there were heartbreaking senarios of your farewells.
time often makes a difference!
Good morning, Amalie ... yes, I have learned an important lesson about living out your real life on the blogs ... never again ...
Deletewouldn't it be nice if we could be like children? their goodbyes seem so easy
ReplyDelete...if I ever find someone to break it off with again I think I will just sum it all up by saying "see you later alligator...or NOT" and then just skip away LOL :p
The simpler, the better ... that's my recommendation ...
DeleteWhat? No parting gifts?
ReplyDeleteThe tip toe moments shattering a goodbye "
ReplyDeleteAh, so true! I say tip toe away an they forget you existed. Lol. Never that easy , but your words ring true. We can deny goodbye is coming.