Blast OffRokkit Man
I'm looking for a rocket. Nothing on Ebay, and nothing on Craig's list. Nothing here, there, or anywhere. It's gotten to the point that I'm considering calling the top of the Great Chain of I-Ka-Ching-Being in North Korea to see if they have an extra one rolling off the assembly line, but Homeland Security already has me pegged as some kind of revolutionary, so I suspect that, if I ever want to see the sunny beaches of Florida again, I'd better buy American.
I'm looking for a rocket. I've tried calling NASA, but all that I get is very strange voice mail — just as series of tones, kind of like harmonic beeps and burps. I suspect they are taking calls from places far more distant than Canada. So no luck there.
And, still, I'm looking for a rocket, just a simple tube of propulsion to shoot me out of the stratosphere and into the unknown wonders of outer space. It doesn't have to be shiny and new, a refurbished rocket will do just as well as a new one, I think.
I suppose I'll need some sort of space capsule to shield me from the space debris, some sunscreen to protect me from the bright light of the sun, a couple of oxygen tanks, and maybe a case of those canned brown beans with the hunk of pork fat lying on top. Oh yeah, and mittens in case it gets a little cold. I can arrange for the mittens. I have mittens to spare.
Now, don't jump to conclusions. I'm not running away from anything on Earth. I mean, I'm not leaving in a huff, and I'm not disenchanted with my life of passion and laughter. I'm not running away from a speeding ticket or a love gone sour. I guess I'm just looking for something new and exciting. It's the usual dilemma. People hate to get bored.
Not that I'm bored, actually. I'm more, oh I don't know, suffering from rigour mortis. I guess the wanderlust is creeping into my soul again.
Yes, I'm looking for a rocket to zoom me past the moon and into endless space. No turning back. Just on and on and on, until I hook up with the Klingons or the Dingdongs or whatever strange beings are out there to meet and greet.
So if you see your neighbour throwing out a 32 ton Saturn rocket with the recyclables on garbage day, hey drop me a note. I'll tow that baby up here to Canada, fuel it up with good old Canadian nuclear generator waste, and I'll be on my way.
But, sorry, it's strictly a "No Riders" mission — not for grass, gas, or even ass.
I'm looking for a rocket. Nothing on Ebay, and nothing on Craig's list. Nothing here, there, or anywhere. It's gotten to the point that I'm considering calling the top of the Great Chain of I-Ka-Ching-Being in North Korea to see if they have an extra one rolling off the assembly line, but Homeland Security already has me pegged as some kind of revolutionary, so I suspect that, if I ever want to see the sunny beaches of Florida again, I'd better buy American.
I'm looking for a rocket. I've tried calling NASA, but all that I get is very strange voice mail — just as series of tones, kind of like harmonic beeps and burps. I suspect they are taking calls from places far more distant than Canada. So no luck there.
And, still, I'm looking for a rocket, just a simple tube of propulsion to shoot me out of the stratosphere and into the unknown wonders of outer space. It doesn't have to be shiny and new, a refurbished rocket will do just as well as a new one, I think.
I suppose I'll need some sort of space capsule to shield me from the space debris, some sunscreen to protect me from the bright light of the sun, a couple of oxygen tanks, and maybe a case of those canned brown beans with the hunk of pork fat lying on top. Oh yeah, and mittens in case it gets a little cold. I can arrange for the mittens. I have mittens to spare.
Now, don't jump to conclusions. I'm not running away from anything on Earth. I mean, I'm not leaving in a huff, and I'm not disenchanted with my life of passion and laughter. I'm not running away from a speeding ticket or a love gone sour. I guess I'm just looking for something new and exciting. It's the usual dilemma. People hate to get bored.
Not that I'm bored, actually. I'm more, oh I don't know, suffering from rigour mortis. I guess the wanderlust is creeping into my soul again.
Yes, I'm looking for a rocket to zoom me past the moon and into endless space. No turning back. Just on and on and on, until I hook up with the Klingons or the Dingdongs or whatever strange beings are out there to meet and greet.
So if you see your neighbour throwing out a 32 ton Saturn rocket with the recyclables on garbage day, hey drop me a note. I'll tow that baby up here to Canada, fuel it up with good old Canadian nuclear generator waste, and I'll be on my way.
But, sorry, it's strictly a "No Riders" mission — not for grass, gas, or even ass.
Kennedy!! I live right here where they launch the rockets. They just sent one up yesterday morning. I can see them from my back yard most of the time. I will keep an eye out for the perfect rocket for you lol.
ReplyDeleteYes sometimes life can get monotonous and boring. A little excitement is always a nice change.
So, if I can get my hands on one of those rockets, I will send it to you. And I promise not to ask to ride on your rocket (uh, I have a dirty mind lmao !!)
Have a great weekend.
Many thanks ... send it by UPS ... I don't trust the USPS ... too many items go missing ... ;o}
DeleteCall Richard Branson to see if he is still planning to launch the VSS Enterprise at $200,000 per ticket.
ReplyDeleteFar too pricey for a one-shot affair ...
DeleteRound trip ticket ... they won't leave you behind.
DeleteMittens are a good idea..and don't forget to pack a dinosaur. I hear that Wylie Coyote knows where to get Acme rockets in bulk..cheap. Bon voyage..bring back some star dust! :)
ReplyDelete